“… In practice the standard for what constitutes rape is set not at the level of women’s experience of violation but just above the level of coercion acceptable to men.”

– Judith Lewis Herman, psychiatrist and incest researcher

Let us get this out of the way. What Tasek Gelugor MP Shabudin Yahaya said amounts to endorsing paedophilia. Furthermore, he is a rape apologist as well.

When this MP says “girls who reached puberty as young as nine-years-old were physically and spiritually ready for marriage”, what he is really saying is that in his view, young girls as young as nine are ready for sex.

When this MP claims that older male perpetrators “fall in love” with their underage victims and should be allowed to marry them, what he is really saying is that older men who groom their victims and then rape them should be allowed the legal and societal endorsement of “marriage” to cover up their crimes.

When he says that “maybe the husband had raped her (his wife, prior to marriage), we (can’t) say that the husband will be a useless and evil person forever”, he is really saying that men who rape women should be forgiven for their crimes when they “atone” for them by marrying their victims.

He also squarely places the blame on the “wild lifestyle” of women and girls which absolves men from their crimes and reinforces the victim-blaming and shaming that constitutes the foundations of a rape culture that is based on a paternalistic agenda of men like Shabudin Yahaya.

If you ever need an example of a Muslim who gives Islam a bad name, it is someone like this Umno parliamentarian. I consider what he says of women and children as akin to an act that gives the religion and its adherents the reputation of unsavouriness and bolsters the idea that Islam is the motherlode of bad ideas as propagated by atheists like Sam Harris.

Amanah MP Siti Mariah Mahmud said, “I don’t blame him totally because the law allows it. I’m not saying he is right, but that is the mindset of Malaysians today, of Muslims today.”

First of all, this is not the mindset of “Malaysians” today. I can confidently say that the majority of Malaysians – Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus or however they self-identify themselves – believe that child marriage and rape are anathema to any kind of moral thinking. It is only certain Muslim men who control the discourse and control the levers of government and set policy, who think this way.

They think this way because for years they have been allowed to say and do the most morally reprehensible things and do this in the name of religion, while those of us who attempted to resist and point out such immoral behaviour were told not to interfere with Islam and threatened with sanctions from the state.

In an article about child abuse, I highlighted what an activist from Sisters in Islam said – “Child marriage is actually exacerbating the abuse of the children by making it legal.” Shareena (Sheriff) also highlighted the fact that politicians and religious personalities make statements advocating child marriages, which in turn makes it conducive for those ‘who want to go down that road will feel that it’s perfectly all right to do so.’”

What does it say when religious men tell pre-teen girls to “cover up”, claim that they are ready for marriage (sex) at the age of nine and consider the marriage of a rape victim as “the power of God”? Whose is being seditious here – the person who questions such abhorrent behaviour in the name of religion or the person who uses religion to justify his intolerable behaviour?

Is it really ‘love’?

What do you do when a religious man has no problem justifying the crime of an older man falling in love with a child and then consummating the relationship and wanting it to be sanctioned by the state? Has it ever crossed the minds of these religious men that if it was really “love”, then this older man would wait for the girl to reach the age of consent before consummating that relationship? Or is self-control beyond the power of God?

Penang Umno Wanita chief Jahara Hamid in attempting to contextualise this MP’s abhorrent behaviour claimed, “Exceptional circumstances need to be viewed exceptionally”, which is again endorsing the view that older men who groom young girls are in a “consensual relationship”.

There is of course no attempt to understand the disparity of power in these relationships, the psychological and sexual immaturity between young victims and these older predators and of course, the culture built on ignorance and religious subservience that condones relationships between older rapists and their young victims as “relationships”, which could lead to marriage and a stable home life.

Shabudin Yahaya claims that the media honed in on his comments about nine-year-olds. However, in his comments he claimed that marriage was a remedy to this social problem and he objected to proposals to amend the Sexual Offences against Children Bill Act to ban child marriages, preferring instead recognising the “rights” of the underage victims’ parents with the collusion of the syariah courts to provide a remedy for what he acknowledges is a crime.

In Shabudin Yahaya’s worldview, while rape is a crime, there should not be any provisions barring families from coming to an understanding. In other words, if families are paid off, if men who visit underage sex workers can bribe or convince the families of these exploited children that they be allowed to marry their victims, this would be acceptable outcome to this member of parliament.

The only exceptional circumstance here is that of a member of parliament from the ruling coalition endorsing paedophilia and being supportive of men who rape women. The exceptional circumstance here is that a member of parliament is supportive of rapists marrying their underage victims under the rationale that some of them could have had “consensual relationships” or even if these men had raped these women, who is to say that they could not lead “good lives and be good husbands”?

As MCA Wanita chief Heng Seai Kie asks, “Why blame the pre-teen or adolescent girl and not the men who are unable to contain their sex drive?”

Because this is the culture that men like Shabudin Yahaya want for Malaysia.

S THAYAPARAN is Commander (Rtd) of the Royal Malaysian Navy.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.

No religion should condone ‘rape and marry’ option

‘Rape and marry’ choice – a solution for whose social problem?